Do you know that over 3.5 million couples in this country live hundreds of miles apart from each other? When people talk about long distance relationships, it’s really often about how difficult they are and how they tend to fail. But despite the odds, there are many relationships that make it and succeed. With enough work and the right advice, there are ways for you to make your long distance relationship work, and here’s how:
Is it for work?
Couples who are happiest even during long distance relationships are those that are career oriented, especially if it is their career that brought them apart in the first place. Unfortunately, not everyone is career oriented
What about self-fulfillment?
Another way to cope with an LDR is for couples find a sense of fulfillment despite the physical separation. Again, this self fulfillment may come from work, but not necessarily. It can be any passion or dream that you can follow and pursue when you are apart.
Set a “get-together” plan
It’s important to plan out dates when you and your partner will be meeting each other again. This means that you should have a timeline on when you’ll be together again. This “get-together” may be temporary, usually during holidays or school break (if either of you are studying) or permanent, if you either of you have finally decided to come back home or make a final move. Setting dates for “get togethers” and marking them on your calendar helps you anticipate the good times that are coming soon.
Trust and commitment
To make an LDR work, you need to be fully committed to your partner – no dates with other people and definitely no entertaining advances from those of the opposite sex. Aside from commitment is the need for trust, which you should also give. A whole lot of trust and commitment can definitely make the distance seem more bearable.
All relationships need intimacy to work, but this isn’t just about the physical. Many couples have mastered the art of being intimate despite the distance. All you need is a bit of diligence and hard work to keep the fire going. Technology has now made the world smaller with phone and video calls, and if that still doesn’t do the trick, just make plans to see each other. All it takes is a plan ride or a land trip to get back into each other’s arms!
Be happy for each other
When the LDR is caused by one’s work or pursuit of self-fulfillment, it may cause resentment from either parties, but usually it is the one who is left behind. It takes effort to be happy for a partner who has chosen self fulfillment over togetherness, but if you love that person, you should fully support them. If you are not willing to make an effort and support their quest for fulfillment (or the other way around), then maybe you are not as committed to each other as you thought you were. If you truly love your partner, you have to be able to leave without feeling any resentment from them, and you have to allow them to go without feelings of resentment from you as well.
Life without the daily hugs and face to face conversation can be difficult, but it is possible and you can take comfort in the fact that you are committed and trust each other and that this situation is all but temporary.