I’m partial to vampires. I love the folklore that surrounds them – and have read many books from Anne Rice’s The Vampire Chronicles to Elizabeth Kostova’s The Historian to Stephanie Mayer’s Twilight (yes I know).
They are mythical beings, built on centuries of man’s encounter with the unknown. Yet, I also believe that they exist in the real world. I do not mean those vampires who burn when exposed to daylight and suck the lifeblood out of you. I’m talking about people who suck out and completely lower other people’s vibrations. Energy or psychic vampires, as we call them.
How do I put this in other words? Buzz kill? Emotional drain? Something like that.
In sum, energy vampires are people that you want to avoid because they make everything feel negative. While you may want to avoid them, what if you are actually one, and you just don’t know it?
Here are some telltale signs that you might be a psychic vampire:
- 1 1. Your opinions are fact (for you)
- 2 2. You endlessly complain about your problems
- 3 3. You play with guilt to get what you want
- 4 4. You always talk about “poor you”
- 5 5. You are always the star of everything
- 6 6. You like to spread fear
- 7 7. You always think you are right
- 8 8. You don’t get invited to social occasions and events
1. Your opinions are fact (for you)
Energy vampires believe that their opinions matter, and that they are always correct. They may even treat their opinions like fact.
Let’s say your friend is wearing a very hideous dress. What do you do? Energy vampires would usually say something along these lines: “Oh my god, where did you get that dress? That’s so hideous! Get out of here and go change that!” Some may see that as honesty, but there are other (and better) ways to be honest.
Energy vampires don’t think about the consequences of what they say. They think that their honesty is done with good intentions, and they do not stop to think what other people would feel about what they say.
Opinions that hurt other people can be said in a nice way or not said at all, and energy vampires do not understand that.
2. You endlessly complain about your problems
Whenever you talk to someone like family members or friends, what do you usually talk about first? Do you share talk about the positive things and good news, and do you ask others to do the same so you can share that happiness, or do you dive right into a sea of complaints and rant about everything? If your friend is nodding politely as you gabber on and on about one bad experience to the next, then you might be an energy vampire.
Take a look at all your relationships with others and recall your latest conversations. Are they always complaint sessions? If this is the case, try to look at the bright side and talk about things that are empowering for both you and your friend.
3. You play with guilt to get what you want
Most of us like to use guilt as a weapon to get what we want. If you do this all the time, people around you may feel as if you are taking away energy from them.
Lines like “Oh look, you’re going out again! Don’t you know that I never even visit my sick and dying mom just so I can spend my time with you?” or “Okay, go ahead and do what you like while I stay here and do all the housework like I always do” are very common lines that evoke feelings of guilt from the receiver.
If you need to make others feel guilty so you can justify what you do, feel good about yourself or achieve a certain goal, then you are using a form of emotional manipulation that takes out energy from other people.
4. You always talk about “poor you”
Do you throw pity parties all the time? Ever get into a fight with your significant other and post less-than vivid details about it on social media, making you appear like the martyr? Do you regularly talk about unfortunate events in your life and overplay it, waiting for people to jump in and tell you how they feel sorry for you and how everything will be okay? Do you constantly ask for advice about the things going on in your life, only to brush off your friends comments because you feel that they don’t know what they’re talking about?
Playing the victim is basically asking other people to lift you up by using their own energy. How long do you think can people continue to do that before they feel drained? It is okay to ask friends for help from time to time, and when they do offer help, you must accept that. If you’re only letting people know about your misery just for the sake of it, then you’re simply looking for a quick fix and it’s not going to make your life any better.
5. You are always the star of everything
Many energy vampires think of themselves as stars of their own show. A sign that you are one is that you always make everything about you. Conversations with friends always end up with your experience, your life, your dog, your cat, your work. For example, your friend goes “Hey, I went to Las Vegas last week” and then you reply, “Oh yeah, me too. I’ve been there several times (insert long, lengthy speech on your last five trips to Vegas).”
When someone talks about his or her situation or lets you know how they are, you jump right in and say something related to that topic, but that something about is always about you, because you think your experiences are great and they’re worth listening.You spend countless minutes about what you did, what you would do, what you think is right, without giving the others the chance to share. With this, they end up nodding their heads, finding it difficult to enter your one sided monologues.
6. You like to spread fear
Energy vampires like to spread fear. Conspiracy stories, economic failings, terrorist attacks, the end of the world – these are just a few things that they would talk about. People who do this like to carry fear around and share them to others who are willing to listen.
It’s fine to spread information about a bad or unfortunate event, especially if it helps people prepare for what’s going to happen next. However, you should not spread the feeling of fear like it’s fact. Don’t keep freaking out and cause other people to freak out with you because it wastes energy.
7. You always think you are right
Some people are so stubborn and opinionated that they don’t believe anything you tell them, even when you parade the truth right in front of their eyes. These people don’t like to admit that they are wrong or follow directions from other people. When you do this, you block the flow of energy between you and your friends, killing the chance of energetic growth. Being wrong doesn’t mean you are weak. It happens to all of us and it’s perfectly fine.
Ever see photos of your friends online and wonder why they never told you they were hanging out? If people don’t invite you to social occasions like parties and celebrations, then there’s definitely a reason for that. They might find you too draining, and people can only take so much before deciding to cut you loose.
Most of us unknowingly slip into these habits from time to time, and that is okay. We can’t all be perfect. However, if this is a constant way in your life and if this is how you deal with your family, friends and relatives, then pretty soon people are going to cut you off. Vampires may be intriguing and mysterious, especially in books and television, but energy vampires are not!
Are you an energy vampire sometimes? What can you do to avoid being one?